Taking Care of Business

Coworker, "Do you know who sings Taking Care of Business"?

Me, "No".

Coworker, "Do you know the song"?

Me, "Yes, I've heard it before".

Coworker to another coworker, "Do you know who sings Taking Care of Business"?

Other coworker, "BTO, of course".

They both look at me and ask "Where have you been, how do you not know who BTO (Bachman, Turner, Overdrive) is."

Me, "Uhhhh".

My bad, it came out the year before I was born, are you serious people?

For your listening enjoyment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJprEyXMrIk

Rain, rain rain!!!

Whoop, your rain dance worked girl.....http://gertips77.blogspot.com/2014/01/global-what.html

As I came out of the Powell Street BART station, what do I see...RAIN RAIN RAIN...It's a light mist, but who cares. I'll take it. Do I have a rain coat on? No. Do I have my umbrella? No. Do I at least have a hood on my jacket? No. But I don't care.

I almost slipped 1/2 dozen times on the slick streets, but I don't give a darn. We have not had rain in Northern California since early December (I think).

This has taught me a valuable lesson. Don't believe the weather apps. They lie.  They said rain wasn't happening until Thursday.  Also, I need to remember I am travelling across the Bay, into a completing different micro-climate. So, what may be 60 degree weather in Concord is not the same in San Francisco. 

Keep dancing Gertips, I'll take more of the rain.

Wine breathe

Hey all you wine drinkers, did you know when you drink red wine, your breathe stinks? Ha, I'm not talking about right at the moment you are drinking, but the day after? More specifically, the morning after?

Yeah, I have to sit or stand very close to folks on BART and the morning after smell of wine is nasty, I'm just saying.  You don't realize it until you have someone standing over your shoulder, trying to read what you are doing on your phone or sitting next to you breathing their hot stale breathe on you. So, do everyone a favor and if you are going to drink LARGE or small quantities of red wine, make sure you brush your teeth twice before going out in the morning, chew some gum or wear a mask....

Gift from God

No, I am not taking about men, though sometimes men think they are a gift to everyone. But my story is about a man.

I was desperate for a cold diet coke to enjoy with my lunch. My only option was to head three blocks down to the mall and buy a soda at one of the many options at the food court or go 10 feet out the door of my office to the corner liquor store. If I went down to the mall, I'd probably buy a whole entire lunch for $15 and not eat what I brought, thereby not saving any money. Plus, I would be forced to shop at mall, again, not helping save any money. 

 

I was a little hesitant since that particular store appears to be a hotbed for local activities. A typical day may include a customer (if you can call them that) running out of the store with a bottle of booze and the owner chasing him down the street yelling "hey, you have to pay for that, you pay me"! Dude, you are not getting your money, the "thief's" shoes are constructed of old sneakers and duct tape. I am pretty sure he needs to beer more than you don't need the money. Other activities at this corner store include the locals getting into screaming matches and 9 times out of 10, the police have to show up to break it up. I'm not too keen on venturing over there and getting in that mix.

Anyways, the desire for a soda was too great, so I mustered up the courage to walk over and entered the store. I didn't need a password, no secret handshake or cover charge. There were a few folks grabbing snacks and some should have bought soap or toothpaste but we'll just overlook that. I grabbed what I needed and got in line. As I waited a gentlemen (eheh) came up behind me. His cane knocked my leg and he mumbled an apology, so I looked back at him.  I guess that was all the opening he needed to strike up a conversation.  He smiled and I smiled back. He had a gnarly looking black eye and some recent scrapes on his face. It's a good thing he had the cane, because he was swaying back and forth.

 

"My name is Mathias, it means gift from God" he slurred.  I said "that's cool, my brother and stepson are both named Matthew and I have heard about that meaning before". Mathias then said, "I love God, he is good. He helped me get sober". I said, "Well, that's great" as I looked at the counter where he rested his 40 ounce of beer...

 

 

Holding train where?

Most of the time when I am on BART, I am doing something on my phone like looking up news, learning the latest celebrity gossip, or listening to music.

I am not really paying attention to what station we are approaching.
 

About two weeks ago, there was a broken down train at Embarcadero and all trains were delayed by 15 minutes, while they cleared the tracks. My train was stopped at 19th and 12th Street stations in Oakland and again at West Oakland station. For a brief moment, I thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't stopped in the Trans Bay Tube. I've heard of evacuations that require riders to get off the train while in the tube and journey out on foot. Ugh.
 

I've ways been curious about what The Tube looked like from the outside: you know being that it's under water and all. Are there starfish and sea creatures feeding around the tube? Are sharks lurking around because they can sense human flesh inside? And, is there a diver under there on a regular basis patrolling for leaks or cleaning the algae off?

 

Curiosity and more importantly, urgency to know more about my fear of being stuck in the tube forced me to look up information on this. To tell you the truth, unless I am missing something, there is not a whole lot of live pictures of the tube. Perhaps this is self preservation because it would freak eveyrone out to know what the outside of the Tube looks like under water. If you know of a site that would share this, send it my way...

Here is what I did find, pretty interesting that BART was the inventor or the submergable tube and it has since been used in other countries.

 

Yellow Brick Road

The other day, I had to go to a meeting off site and it was located in a building at Golden Gate and Leavenworth. Traveling through that area I noticed what looked like yellow bricks painted on the sidewalks. It certainly was not as shiny and bright as the one we are accustomed to seeing in the movie, Wizard of Oz, but it was still very noticeable.

Curious, I asked my coworkers and they told met they were in fact painted to look like a Yellow Brick Road for children to easily follow a safe passage to and from school. 

Here is a great article about when and why it started:

http://studycenter.org/centralcityextra/2012/02/safe-passage-for-kids-along-gritty-route/

Now I can't get the little Munchkin's voices out of my head singing "Follow the Yellow Brick Road."
 

Little yellow corvette

If you are ever in Concord driving near the North Concord BART station around 7:10 on weekdays, look out for the AHole driving in a new model yellow corvette. He's a jerk.

¹jerk

noun \ˈjərk\

: a stupid person or a person who is not well-liked or who treats other people badly
 

I first met up with him when I was driving north on Port Chicago Highway about to make a right turn into BART. Oncoming traffic was finishing making their left turns into BART. The lights had all changed for a good ten seconds and up the hill comes a yellow vette at a really fast speed. I just had a feeling I shouldn't turn yet, and boy, I'm glad I didn't. This d*ck ran the red light and entered the two lane road to BART. Wow, you look so cool dude.

I took my right turn and followed him in. The next thing I see, he's in the outer lane heading straight and moving at a fast pace, because he passed a half dozen cars.  Then without his signal or slowing down, he cuts off a row of cars and turns right into the first parking lot. My eyes were glued to this guy because I thought for sure he was going to cause an accident. Nope, but in fact what he DID do was to not slow down and drive right through the crosswalk that currently had about a dozen people waking through it.
 

If you see this cool dude driving around North Concord BART, flip him the bird for me...oh wait, actually, there's always tomorrow for me to meet up with him again...

 

 

Dancing chihuahua

I was walking to the BART station last night and heard music playing on the streets. This is really not uncommon on the path I take. As I grew closer to the music,  I noticed a group of men looking down towards the ground. They were all smiling and laughing and seemed to be thoroughly entertained.  There was one particular man who was hunched over and I thought perhaps he was performing some new dance move I desperately needed to learn. Nope, turns out he was holding his Chihuahua's front paws, making it stand up tall and having it dance to the music.

Everyone was having a grand old time of it. I don't think the dog enjoyed it much...perhaps he should consider doing like the locals do and putting a hat on the ground to get some extra pesos for his performance....

 

Bombs away

It was a sunny warm afternoon. I was walking back from lunch to my office in the TL. Many of the local residents were out on the sidewalks. I smiled and say "hi" to a few. Feeling confident, I suddenly felt something wet on my shirt collar. Not paying attention to it, I looked down and right at that moment a bird that was sitting on a shop overhang pooped on my pant leg. Yep, it happened.

That piece of shit! ( no pun intended) I'm embarrassed and pissed.   I tried to hide my shame. I was wearing black pants and the shit was white, not all white, they were speckled with brown bits.. I digress...as I lifted my head to confidently walk on, I met the gaze of one of the locals who was missing all but one tooth, and in a wheel chair that was held together with duck tape. He laughed and laughed and pointed his finger at me. His cackle echoed through the streets.  Not cool.

This moment brings me back to my freshman year at CPHS. I walked across "The Quad" to grab a Cheese Zombie and right at the perfect moment a swarm of seagulls uprooted from their spot and one blessed me with poop. It was nasty and runny and of course everyone cool who was standing on the perimeter of "The Quad" saw and laughed and chanted "Freshman, freshman, freshman". Needless to say I wanted to die that day. I guess my shame wasn't as bad the other day when I was the shit on, but apparently it's still funny when someone gets crapped on.

I might take up walking with an umbrella everyday.

La Cucarachas

When I started working in the city a week ago, I was curious about how things worked. When I worked in rural areas I didn't have to navigate around garbage trucks, police, protesters or wild animals. I most certainly didn't think about bugs. If you know me, I am really not a girly girl. I pick up spiders and throw them outside rather than scream and have the hubby kill'em.

So when I started working in the TL everyone kept telling me nicely to watch out for the "bugs". Then, the persons desk that I took over cautioned me to always clean my desk if I ate at it cuz there are bugs, BIG ONES.  I had the pleasure of meeting one face to face a couple of days ago. I had eaten a banana and left the peel on my desk for about a minute until I got up to throw it away. When I picked it up, a cockroach wiggled out. GROSS!!

Then today, I heard a scream from a co-worker. I'm nosey so I asked what happened. She told me she ate a roach?!  For real, how does that happen? Apparently it crawled into her salad and she thought it was a cherry (you know the dried berry salad mixes) and ate it. When it crunched then squished in her mouth, she realized it wasn't a sweet cherry and pulled it out to inspect. NASTY.

I gotta go, I am feeling something crawling on my arm.....

Monday madness

My first Monday commute after the holidays (insert sarcasm here). Let's be honest no one enjoys going back to work but really do we all have to be aholes about it? NO. As I turned into the North Concord BART station, I noticed something different in the air, it wasn't the disgusting smell of gas from the water treatment plant. It was an extra hustle and intensity at the station. No,  it was everyone being angry to have to go back to work. People were just jerks.  Car after car cut me off, people walked to the station any which way they wanted, not caring for cars, people or wheel chairs ( maybe a little bit exaggerated) instead of crosswalk. I tried to back into my spot and someone walked behind my car.  REALLY!!??? WTF!!

Train was packed. Then it broke down at Embarcadero station. YAY!!! Held at 12th Street and West Oakland stations. The delay was reported to be around 10-15 minutes.  A little lesson in BART etiquette, if you board a crowded train and there are more than a dozen people standing, more than likely it's not cuz we want to stand but because all the seats are taken. Don't be "that' person who walks through all the cars disrupting us to find the golden seat. It doesn't exist. 

D.O for the B.O.

Let's discuss body odor for a quick minute. I don't know about you but when I embark on something new I get nervous sweat, the kind that is super smelly, soaks through your shirt so everyone stares at you kinda sweat. YUCK I know, but really, you know what I'm talking about.  If I am going to an event or new job I get super nervous and I get wet armpits! At first I think I don't smell because I love layering scents but maybe I do stink???

Well in my never ending quest to pay attention to what I put ON my body, I have been researching alternatives to deodorant. Most ideas involve recipes that include coconut oil. Okay, I love the coconut oil movement, but I'm just not "there" yet. I had to bring out the big guns this week. I  was at Trader Joe's and saw they had a deodorant, so I picked it up.  The key word here is "deodorant". My dumb dumb self didn't realize that this new deodorant did not have antiperspirant in it, the one ingredient I specifically needed!! Tuesday morning rolls around, I think  "yay" get to use my fancy new deodorant... WRONG!  Bad decision, bottom line is I smelled, so bad in fact that I kept wondering what I ate that included onions. Nice scent right?  At least the only positive thing that could come from this debacle is that BART smells like ass. Like a combo of pot, bad breathe, booze and what else you may ask? BO.  Soo, I took my sisters advice and wore my husbands deodorant and it worked! I don't smell like a man, or at least I don't think I do. And the best part is I don't smell like BO anymore. #winning

Now, I just have to remember to wash my coat, my stink was so bad it went through my clothes and now my jacket smells like a day old Onion that I left in my pocket. Maybe this isn't the time to try DIY  laundry detergent?! NONE!

Monday, December 30, 2013

My first day. Got on BART, no problems. Came out on Powell street by the escalator and had about 10 minutes to kill. I looked around and saw a cute little couple hugging goodbye. Cute little means really short, they almost looked like teenagers.  My gaze moves around to other sites; the tourists lining up at the Cable Car station.  The Police Officer looking serious and posted outside of H&M, and the people coming up from BART like ants. I catch the 'cute couple' again and they are making out. I look up at Nordstrom's and around more, just people watching. Oh yeah, there's that guy holding up the Jesus Loves sign.  As I glance around, the 'cute couple' is still making out. By now, I'm curious. I look for camera's. Are they filming a gum or breathe mint commercial? How could anyone stand and make out for that long? I look around at others to see if anyone else notices or is watching them. Nope, the commuters are still moving around like ants.  Cute couple are STILL kissing. When I say kissing, I mean full on, make out session.  Not something you see everyday? Well, I never have in Walnut Creek or Pleasant Hill.  They are out in the open, at the top of the Powell Street  BART station!  Commuters are required to walk around them.  They break it off after 10 minutes and go their separate ways. Welcome to SF.